Embracing Love: Encountering A Love Supreme*
Advent Reflections - Week 4 (LOVE)
And suddenly we see That love costs all we are And will ever be
Yet is only love, Which set us free. Maya Angelou, Touched by an Angel
The greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
Love is or it ain’t. Thin love ain’t love at all. Toni Morrison, Beloved
In 2022, my family created intention bracelets for our New Year's activity. We took a quiz and chose a word or phrase we wanted to focus on or one that would guide us through the year. I chose the phrase "Let Love Lead." For me, this meant that I would try to start from a place of goodness. I would give people the benefit of the doubt. I would try not to assume the worst in every circumstance. Love is a lens through which we can read sacred texts, all texts, really. Love is a posture or a position from which we can assess situations. When Love is the framework, your view of the world changes; Love lightens, brightens, and softens. It also inspires, clarifies, and fortifies.
Love is a Many-Splendored Thing:[1]
Poets and philosophers have conjectured about Love. Songwriters, singers, actors, and actresses have conjured the emotion, and scientists have researched its effects. Though we sing, talk, and think about love a great deal, we do so in a limited way. We primarily highlight two of its dimensions: familial and romantic Love. But love is so much more than this.
The Greeks have at least seven words that we translate as love. Agape or selfless love is an example. Though agape is often referred to as godly love in religious circles, it is both God's Love for humanity and humanity's love of God. Agape was often translated in Latin as caritas or charity, but agape is more than empathy. It is radical care for others. Eros is romantic love or sexual passion. Pragma is mature love. This is a love that has been time-tested and proven to be true. Savon, a character in the film Love Jones, keenly observes: "Y'all running around here jumping, hopping, skipping, diving and falling in love and shit. Falling in love ain't shit. Somebody talk to me please about how to stay there." [2] Pragma is a love that stays. Storge is familial love, love that is shared with family and friends. It is based on comfort, acceptance, and support. Philia or friendship is based on loyalty and respect. In her book Sister Outsider, Audre Lorde writes: "The love expressed between women is particular and powerful because we have had to love in order to live; love has been our survival." Phila was important in the ancient world and remains significant in our contemporary moment, as Lorde reminds us. Ludus is playful love. Ludus is affection between children, joking around, flirting, and dancing with friends. Finally, there is philautia or self-love. This is akin to the Buddhist concept of self-compassion. Philautia is not narcissism; it is the capacity to give yourself the same consideration you would extend to others.
In the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13 is called the Love chapter. The word love is found 17 times in its 13 verses. Paul provides an extensive definition of Love here. He writes: "Love is patient; Love is kind; Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." (1 Cor 13:4-8). Although folks love to recite this chapter at weddings (pun intended), the context in which it was written does not lend itself to such an interpretation. Paul wrote the letter to Corinth, a divided community of believers. They were a gifted group, devoted to the Way. But Corinth was also separated into factions (Does this sound familiar? It calls to mind all the Christian denominations, but I digress.) The Corinthians struggled to find unity among their diversity. Paul advises this community to pursue love. So, this is not a description of romantic love. The letter outlines a community ethic that should guide their behavior toward one another. And in turn, we can learn how to be in community, too.
Love is a noun, an adjective, and a verb. It is also an emotion, an ethic, and an action. Love is eternal, transgressing the bounds of time. Love is perhaps the only emotion that can break a heart and mend it, too. Love is expansive, encompassing, and enriching. We should not confine love to the limitations of our imaginations; it is a many-splendored thing.
How Do I Love Thee? [3]
While we have affection toward many things, it is worth pondering: what do we love? What do we love deeply, fully or completely, thickly, and freely? I love seeing my children laugh. I love feeling the sun kiss my skin. I love a good book. I love the smell of fresh flowers and the sound of ocean waves crashing. I love soft, tender kisses. I love music that soothes my soul. What do you love? How do you love? Who do you love?
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. God's mercy never comes to an end. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:22-23). Have we considered how God's Love is unwavering? How it is dependable? It is tenderly persistent. Not only is God described as love, but lovingkindness is also an attribute that describes God. Lovingkindness, or checed in Hebrew, means "covenant loyalty" and describes God's very essence. God's posture toward their creation is lovingkindness. God's Love is consistent and unfailing. God's kindness knows no bounds. Metta, or lovingkindness, is a similar concept found in Buddhism. In this context, lovingkindness is a universal love and compassion extended to all living beings. What does it mean for us to experience God's lovingkindness? How can we share this with others?
The Christian belief in the Incarnation demonstrates God's lovingkindness. In this event, God becomes a mere mortal and dwells among God's creation. This is Love personified. Christ is born. It seems fitting that this theme punctuates the last week of Advent.
Love's in Need of Love Today [4]
As a little girl, I sang in the tiny choir. One of our regular songs was based on 1 John 4:7 and 8. I remember it some 40+ years later. "Beloved, let us love one another, for Love is of God and every one that loveth is born of God and knoweth God. He that loveth not; knoweth not God, for God is Love. Beloved, let us love one another. 1 John 4:7,8." We often sang this before the children's message. Centering Love as a child had a tremendous impact on how I have come to understand God. It amplified my ability to see God as benevolent and anchored my life on the desire to share this love with others.
For this last week of Advent, identify the ways that you feel Love. Instead of focusing solely on romantic love, let us enhance our lives by selflessly loving others (strangers). Let us take the time to develop and nurture true friendships. May you end this year and begin the new one experiencing Love anew. May you embrace a Love that softens your heart to the suffering of those around you and strengthens you to fight for justice to alleviate their suffering. May your Love be thick enough to feel held, safe, protected, and free. May that Love begin with the Love of yourself. May this Love overwhelm you, bubble up and over into your family, seep into your communities, and extend into the world. May you encounter a Supreme Love and, in exchange, offer a Love Supreme.
[*] A Love Supreme is the title of John Coltrane’s 1965 album, an offering of gratitude to God. In the album liner notes, Coltrane writes: “in the 1964 liner notes to A Love Supreme, "In the year of 1957, I experienced, by the grace of God, a spiritual awakening, which was to lead me to a richer, fuller, more productive life…"As time and events moved on, I entered into a phase which is contradictory to the pledge and away from the esteemed path. But thankfully now, through the merciful hand of God, I do perceive and have been fully reinformed of his omnipotence. It is truly a love supreme." (see: https://www.npr.org/2000/10/23/148148986/a-love-supreme for additional details about the story of A Love Supreme).
[1] This song was first recorded by Don Cornell in 1955. Songwriters were Paul Webster and Sammy Fain.
[2] Love Jones is a 1997 feature film written and directed by Theodore Witcher.
[3] The quote "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways" is from the poem "Sonnet 43" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
[4] "Love's in Need of Love Today" is a song by Stevie Wonder released in 1976 on the album Songs in the Key of Life.